Friday, June 8 2007

I'm in a good mood today. I managed to wee on my mummy's hand during a nappy change. Haven't managed that in a while, it brings back fond memories.

I'm definitely in a happy mood today. One of mummy's friends is visiting later. She is the one with the big boobs. I'm not a stupid baby, I know it's not all about size..... but I sure do like the sight of huge boobies. If only my mummy had the same rack, I could drink milk all day. Yummy yummy...

Then again, big boobs are a bit scary. What if I were minding my own business and drinking, then suddenly I get squashed and can't breath. I heard of babies suffocating while nursing because their mummies had boobs that were too big. On 2nd thoughts, I think I'll stick with mummy.

I've changed into something more feminine. Right now I'm bored shitless. Can't tell, can you? I'm putting on my fake smile I've been working on so mummy will stop pestering me with the camera. Yes mummy I'm so happy.... yeah right!

I picked up this 'fake' smile from my cousin Nicola. She's the best fake smiler in the block by far.

I'm doing my best to be a good daughter. I'm helping by contributing all my 7 kilograms to daddy to give him a better workout. It's not much, but it is more help than my mummy ever gives my daddy. Poor daddy, mummy is always stealing his money. No wonder daddy has to skip lunches so often. Poor poor daddy.

The toy spider scared me earlier. I thought it was a real spider. Then I remembered real spiders aren't multi-colored with 6 legs. Spiders have 8 legs of course. Which idiot made this toy??!! Talk about a glass and a half of dumbness.

Me with daddy again during our daily morning get together. Why can't my mummy go to work and daddy stay home instead??!! I always feel much better when daddy holds me. I still have nightmares about mummy's "butterfingers" and the drops I endured when I was younger.

Me and my friend Lil Lam. Lil lam is sorta like my best friend Lam Lam except smaller. Also Lil Lam is anatomically incorrect as it lacks a body, 4 legs and a tail. The same idiot that made the toy spider with 6 legs, must have created Lil Lam.

I'm sleeping in my stroller. I have the most kick ass stroller on the block. It's big and roomy. Also it's great when I want to knock against other babies. Especially useful when I wanna knock onto those little Japanese babies with their lightweight strollers.

Oh shit. Mummy has something weird in her hand and is coming my way.

Looks stupid doesn't it? It's my mummy's poor attempt at humour. Sometimes I wonder who the real baby is in the family.

No wonder daddy always says he has to look after 2 babies at home.

Another pretend attempt at a flip. This time I've dramatized it with some crying and simulated suffering.

I'm in my baby suit again. I'm doing the crawl pose so mummy can take the picture. I want to be helpful and all, but doesn't mummy realise it's freezing without clothes on.

Where are my clothes? If I don't get them back soon, I'm going to drool on mummy for a whole day in retaliation.

Just taken my bath. I'm pretending to be Darth Vader from Star Wars. Wooo Woooo, come to the dark side Ryan Skywalker. Feel the power of evil.. ha ha ha.

Practicing my innocent face. I think I just about got it right. Will try it on daddy later on.

This is the mummy's friend I was telling you about earlier. As you can see my left arm is touching her boobies. I'm pretending it's an accident and I don't know what I'm doing... but I really do. I'm feeling her up.

Come on Auntie Jancie, turn me around so I can get a good look at your boobies. My friends told me not all boobies produce milk. I want to test out on you to see if it's true or not.

PS: I'm still feeling her up.

Oh, I didn't know you can use boobs to rest your arm on too. Auntie Jancie is more useful than I thought. I still wish she turns me around though, I wanna try out her goodies.

PS: Yup you guessed it, I'm still feeling her up. I'm looking away to make her think I'm unaware where my arm is resting.

Can you see Auntie Jancie's boobies in this close-up picture. I can't, because she is still not turning me around. I give up lah, Auntie Jancie is being a tease and I'm not interested no more. Where's mummy? I need a shot of milk.

PS: Notice I'm still feeling her up with my left arm. Clueless Auntie still smiling like an idiot not realizing my evil intent. Tsk tsk tsk.

PS: My left arm still touching her boobies. Auntie Jancie still blur. I think even if she gets molested by strange men on the train or bus, she would still be clueless. This Auntie is a super blur queen.