Friday, June 15 2007

I've been trying to locate Mr Dinosaur for the past few days but he is still missing. I wonder if mummy has anything to do with his sudden disappearance.

I really hope Mr Dinosaur is okay. He is my good friend cos he eats up all the nasty shitty flies that were in the house. He is a good guy. I hope mummy didn't do anything nasty to him. Poor bugger.

Hmmm, maybe I should conduct a search party to look for Mr Dinosaur. Afterall he is my friend, I have a duty towards my friend. I MUST look after my friend, Mr Dinosaur. Then again, I feel a bit sleepy, maybe I take a nap instead.

Maybe he is just off for a holiday at Batam looking for a 'Mrs' Dinosaur. What to do??!!! Singaporean lizards are too high maintenance. Mr Dinosaur doesn't earn enough to maintain a wife from Singapore. Or he could have gone looking for those tree lizards. They are really sexy and have long tails. They are like the KTV girls of the lizard world.

Me back at work. I need to assign fat boy his daily tasks.

Aha!!! I bet you thought I was doing nothing but munch on my toy. You are wrong wrong wrong.

I'm munching on my toy, yes. But at the same time, I'm trying to think of a viable business to enter. Nowadays the market very bad, very hard to do business selling toys to babies.

Giving out loans are equally hard. With el cheapos like Auntie Von Von and Auntie Big Foot who refuse to borrow money from me, how am I supposed to earn money???

You think I'm just lazing on my pram isn't it??!!

Well, you are wrong again!!!! I'm thinking ok. I'm thinking about what other business I can do to earn money.

Actually I'm just lazing in my pram.

Eureka!!!! I got it!!!!

There is Auntie BB (big boobs). I know what I can do now to earn money.

Hey Auntie BB, you wanna make some spare cash? I can connect you up with some eligible guys. They would pay a fee for the privilege of your company. I would only ask for a small fee to compensate me for my "match making". What about it?

No no, Auntie BB it's not prostitution, you so dirty mind for what. What I'm proposing is called "dating for money". Its totally different thing.

You want in? Why not right? Great.

No No Auntie BB, how can match make you looking like that? No matter how big your boobies are, I don't think they can distract from such a f**ked up expression. Look pretty auntie, think pretty!

Look auntie BB let me show you how to pose. Put something in your mouth and then think sexy ok? Freaken hell, if a baby needs to tell you this stuff you really are a mountain tortoise.

Hey, I was only joking about pimping you out. Calm down, I'm just a baby.

Oh shit, she's smiling but is that a real smile, or is she about to drop me?

Safe for now. How to get down before she changes her mind and lets me fly.

My new toy. I bought it at the shop. It's a drum. It doesn't taste too bad and also you can make sound.

Just a bit more back dumbass auntie. I'm gonna take my new drum and smack you in the head with it.

Break time. When the heck is auntie BB going to buzz off from my home. She's no fun. Can't she see I'm trying to take my daily bath and massage.

She thinks I'm cute. I think she's freaken nuts. Wait till I can walk lady, you are never gonna catch me.

What to do but suck my fingers and bear it? She's bigger than I am. I don't think she will drop me on purpose, but if she accidentally falls on me, I'm a goner for sure. I better be still until she releases me.

Act sleepy act sleepy, just be patient and she will let me down. She keeps on squeezing my chest. Come on lah, what's up with that? Next time I squeeze you back and if I have teeth by then, I bite your boobies you big bully.