Thursday, June 14 2007

This is my disapproving boss look. It is meant to convey "Are you freaken kiddin me??!!!". I'm practicing on suckers, errr babies I mean, but when I'm all grown up, I'm going to use it on adults too. I'm going to be a big boss. I will upgrade my blue seat to to a bigger and more expensive one to add to my prestige.

Yes, ok I agree with your assessment. I approve the allocation of some funds to your proposed project. Ha ha... just imagining the future.

I'm bored with the meeting, wind it up you boring old fart. I've got a power lunch to attend to next.

Hmmm, this new prototype could be a good seller. Let me pretend to be a baby since that is our target market, and try it out. grrhh grrrhh yummy, at the same time strangely interesting. This toy was designed by a genius. I approve the order to make more and sell them.

A boss can never take it easy. Here I am multi-tasking. I'm getting my nappy changed and reviewing another possible product to take to market.

Getting my daily massage to destress from the rigours of work life. It's tough being a boss. How does my daddy do it? I'm only pretending and it's very tiring. My daddy does it for real and he is always energized.

Feeling better now after the relaxing massage. Hey massage girl, err mummy that is, I'm done. Time for my turkish bath now.

Hey hey, mummy, what is taking you so long??!! Time's money, I don't have all day you know.

Hmmmm, I do sound like daddy now. heh heh

Finally after a long hard day's work I get to relax a bit. Mummy is one lazy ass. While daddy and I are working so hard, she just sits on her backside all day and eat snake.

Doing my daily exercise to prepare for a busy day.

Me in the middle of a conference call. Some iddiot just made a stupid suggestion. I'm laughing at him to show my superiority. When you work from home you don't have to keep up with appearances. That is why I'm kicking back in my bumbo chair. My daddy is even better. He can attend morning confererence calls from bed. He actually can sleep and talk at same time. I will be the same one day.

I put the phone on mute. I need to take a break from all those iddiots and their talk cock. Where's my coffee? I need a hot cup of java to get me back into the mood.

This is not an exersaucer. It's actually a command center. When business gets tough, I jump out of my bumbo chair and hop into this place. I can be super efficient. I have 5 lines, a microphone so it's more ergonomic when I talk, and a few other stuff which I still need to figure out what to do with. It was a gift from daddy. He tells me he has the same model at work. I laughed and told him how can? He's too big to fit in right? He told me his one of course is a lot bigger. Ahhh I see. He is right as always. He always explains so well to me.

Me getting angry. Wasted 30 min of my time for what? Feel like taking the F**ken microphone and using it to bang the iddiot on the other side.

I know. Auntie BF (Big Foot) looks a bit zoned out. Mummy gave her some tea, but forgot to mention she mixed in some 50% alcohol in it. Mummy likes to play jokes like that.

Yeah yeah, seen it all before auntie. Fat boy looks like that all the time. Come on auntie, drink some more nice hot tea...

What's wrong auntie? You still got your clothes on what? You so shy for what? Starting to feel a bit strange and woozy is it?

Now you know why I call her auntie BF (Big Foot remember, not Blur F**k).

There there auntie BF, Yoo-ri will look after you. I heard you got married recently. Congratulations. Hey, isn't marriage expensive?? Then you will need to pay for a place to stay, not to mention future babies right?

Auntie BF, you want a loan? Currently I service the kids. But for you I make special deal, you being a friend of my mummy and all. If you can't pay up. I won't even break your legs (doubt I could with feet as big as those). I just take your first born so I can sell to child factory in Cambodia ok?

Hey auntie BB (Big Boobs, but can also stand for Blur blur) you look different today. Hmm what is it .....

I know what it is, you changed your nail color. I'm as sharp as a hawk in noticing differences.

Back to work. I'm sampling a string of colored beads. Simple concept, existing concept, but strangely alluring. Hmmm another product to put to market.

Just to let you know, I'm working even when I'm supposed to be out having a relaxing walk with mummy. That's what bosses do. They never relax.

Hey I'm a big boss. I don't eat at food courts, I only eat at 5 star hotels. Ok lah, this time I grunge. Just hurry up before the other babies see me here. I got a reputation to uphold.

Auntie VV (Von Von, also can stand for Very Vunny). Why you holding me so close. You making me uncomfortable. What if the other babies see me. I'm not a butch you know. I'm a normal girl. Don't get the wrong idea ok auntie? I may look like a boy sometimes, and my mummy may have terrible dress sense, but I'm just a baby. No funny business.

Look auntie VV, I'm eating, no more hug hug ok?

Auntie VV, are you stupid or what? I was only pretending to eat because you hugging me was very uncomfortable. You offer me drink for what? You want me ganna is it? AUNTIE, I'm still on a strictly milk diet la. Aiyoh.

I thought auntie VV had no boobies. But as you can see I'm resting quite comfortably against one. I'm no butch, but I like a soft place to rest my head.

Now I'm comfortable it's back to work. Final quality check on the colored beads.

Don't you dare try to french kiss me. I don't even let mummy do that. Are you an auntie or a molester? Freaken hell, can't a baby just be in a safe environment nowadays.

Yuck, auntie von von really kissed me. Actually wasn't so bad lah. Think she just drank some honey lemon drink. Tastes quite sweet and a bit sourish.

Shit, can't I take a break. Another toy to review. I thought I gave this one to Fat boy to review. What is that lazy bugger doing all day? I already own him due to his debts. Maybe I should sell him to the Cambodians. I hear they grow really nice avocados there, and cheap too. I'm sure his mummy will love to visit him.

My daddy and I. He is updating me on the latest financial reports from his work. He is training me for the future. I know more about money than my mummy does already. Earth to mummy. ATMs are not filled with money, daddy has to earn it first. Also money is not just for shopping, it's for SAVING.

Me exercising with my daddy. He's a bit slow today. I'm already wrapping up. Hurry up daddy, I'm on a tight schedule.

I'm going to fire Fat boy. I should be getting ready for bed. Instead I'm reviewing another toy which was supposed to be done by him. He always gives the same answer. Looks good, Looks tasty. Freaken hell. What kind of review is that? Even for the baby audience which frankly are full of dummies, it's just not very sophisticated.