Tuesday, June 19 2007

Another day in my life. I picked up a new trick. As you can see I can drink on my own. Could come in useful next time when I'm fighting with mummy. She can't starve me into submission. I will just pop out a drink and show her my independence.

Damn. you caught me in a smile.

No wonder I dream about animals, they freaken surround me all the time. Lucky they not real. Real animals like to poo poo and in my cot, only I'm allowed to poo poo. That's my rule.

Damn, this animal just jumped on my face. Can't a baby get a decent nap?

Should I kill the rabbit or not?? It disturbed my beauty sleep.

Damn, you just caught me smiling again.

PS: I'm smiling because I just managed to throw the rabbit over the cot and onto the floor. That will teach it a lesson next time it tries to jump on my bed. Actually I think I just killed it. It's not moving.

I look a bit crazy here. That's because I am. Wouldn't you if you just killed your friend, Mr Bunny?

What are you looking at punks? Slap you and then you know.

Still looking is it. Come closer, my arms are too short. I'll teach you a lesson you won't forget. Come come, don't be shy. I'll give you a sweet after that.

Just kidding lah. I'm in a good mood.

Still feeling good. I'm sitting on my chair. Taking a break from work today.

I'm laughing, but I'm about to cry. Been too soft on mummy lately. I need to keep her on her toes.

Should I start crying now?

This new doll is probably the ugliest I've ever seen. Look at its face for god's sake. It's so damn ugly it's scaring me. Where is Mr Bunny? (oh drats, forgot I ganna him already).

Hmmm... daddy was right. Auntie VV does appear to have boobs. Should I discreetly touch one to confirm it's real?

Auntie, it's nothing personal. I'm just following daddy's orders ok? If you feel some contact, it wasn't me ok? I'm just a baby.

Hmm.. maybe I shouldn't. Singapore has very strict anti- molestation laws. Not sure if babies can go to prison, but why take the risk? I'm too young to go to jail. I heard terrible things about prison life.

Ah heck it lah. Auntie VV I'm just a baby ok? I don't know what I do and I can't even control my body yet. I have no idea my hands leaning against your boobies ok? (Hmm how to tell if they are real?).

Need to ask mummy next time. She knows a lot about boobs.

Wait wait, what are you doing? Auntie Von Von, don't throw me into the dustbin. It's illegal!!! Look, no matter how angry you are, YOU CANNOT THROW ME INTO THE BIN.

Mummy just got angry with me. She gave me a slap. I'm going to tell daddy when he gets back.

Mummy take it easy. I was just kidding about telling daddy. Dun worry, I'm not a snitch. Please don't slap me again.

I'm in shock. I just got a double slap. My mummy is as fast as Bruce Lee. She is always picking on me because she so small, can't pick on anyone else. She too much lah, I know I'm smaller than her but come on, I'm her baby. Where's fat boy when you need him. Mummy, pick on fat boy, he's fat, plus he smells.

This is not me. It's a body double. My legs are very slim and trim. This fat ass baby has two hams for legs. Poor kid. I should match make her with fat boy. Match made in heaven.