Thursday, July 12 2007

What's up with daddy???? So early in the morning and he's already looking so depressed. I know he doesn't like work but what to do? I'm a fire dog and mummy is a fire snake. My daddy is a wood rabbit. In other words he's the only one that works.

Still don't understand?? Fire eats wood lah, you stupid or what??!!!!

Today I think I will pretend to be an ah lian. I dedicate today to Auntie Von Von. My ah lian inspiration (also the only ah lian auntie I know).

Eh ah daddy, you see me smiling is it? I also shaking my leg while I wait for me kopi c. Eh mummy, you hurry up lah. I got no time, I need to meet my friends soon at Far East Plaza.

Ha Ha. Fooled you, I'm not going Far East? That's for the ang moh lian wannabes. I'm going to Centrepoint Macs to order a large coke and share it with my other ah lian babies.

Hmmm.... you looking at what? You look some more, I will go get my ah beng boyfriend to scold you in hokkien. Watch who you stare at ok. Don't play play....

Where is my Chanel bag? I need to get ready. And what about my make-up kit? I need to put on my thick foundation, my red lipstick and my blue eyeshadow.

Hmmmm, actually that sounds just like what the SQ girls wear on their faces.

Hyuk hyuk, SQ girls are flying lians.

Time for a quick stretch before I prepare for my outing. Even an ah lian needs to exercise.

Still exercising la. You think I lazy bones like Auntie Joei ah?? She doesn't exercise, that's why she so flabby.

How do you think I achieved my perfect figure??!!!!

Who the heck is this? She sorta looks like an ah lian.

Hey auntie, you an ah lian?? You wanna be ah lian sister with me? I give you a spot to squat at my usual hangout.

Hey sister, you smile for what? I'm the big Sister, you the little sister ok? My Chanel bag bigger than yours so that is why you little Sister. That is how we ah lians determine rank.

On second thoughts, you don't really look like an ah lian sister. Actually you sorta looks like an .... alien?

Wah lau. Even alien wants to kiss me. My charm is too powderful man.

I'm still in shock. I can't even shake my leg to relieve the stress. The Alien holding me too tight.

Kiss me again for what? Even my boyfriend doesn't kiss me that much.

PS: Of course I have no boyfriend. I just pretending lah.

Mummy save me. I've had enough. I'm scared aliens eat babies for food. She sorta looks a bit hungry.

Don't eat me. Don't eat me. I'm a yucky tasting baby. Don't believe me? I just did a crap. Leave me alone.

Help Help. This alien even got skin condition. Look at her left arm. I already got one birthmark. I can't risk any more.

Shit. I gonna ganna now. I'm holding blue elephant for moral support.

As soon as alien comes close enough, I'm going to use blue elephant to smack her face.

On second thoughts, I better not. I am too chicken. I better pretend to be falling asleep. Maybe she'll leave me alone.

PS: Mess my hair for what??? I took 1 hour 2 mins to get my hair right with gel and spray ok. Basket.

This is a new pram my mummy eying. Lately other mummies make fun of my current pram and she lose face. I tell mummy don't worry, other babies don't say nothing.

But I suspect mummy wants the pram to match her outfit lah. Basket. Black and white easier to match than blue right????

If it looks disgusting, imagine what I'm going through. It's my mouth that's taking that stuff in.