Stop spying on me. I'm just lolling around in bed. I didn't kill none of my friends so buzz off.
Walau, I really look a little chubby here. Think I better go on a diet soon. I don't wanna end up like Fat Boy.
So fat, so ugly and so unwanted.....
Thinking of it really makes me sad. Help!! How do I lose weight??!!!
I think I'm the sort who can breath in air and put on weight just like that.
Wa, so late already and daddy still bring a woman home. Daddy hasn't died before I think. Mummy's gonna slaughter him alive.
I wonder who is the 'other' woman.
Cheh, it's just Auntie BF. What's up with that man?? Auntie, you really Permanent Resident here is it??? I thought I wanted to earn a quick buck by blackmailing daddy. You just dashed all my hopes.
Auntie BF, I know you just went to visit the dentist for cleaning but you don't have to smile so big lah. Smile small small smile enough already.
You smile so big doesn't make you cuter ok???
Look at me, my smile so small yet I extra duper cute.
Just got up from a really pleasant dream. I dreamt that I was being chased by an ice cream cone.
Then I tripped and fell over and the ice cream dribbled all over me.
What a pleasant dream.
Alamak, Auntie BF, you stalking me is it?? Why you always popping your head around my cot trying to scare me????
Wassup with that man??? You mad or are you mad??? Trying to make me get heart attack is it???
Ha ha ha Auntie BF is the best worm in Singapore, some say even in Batam. She wriggles her butt really well. It goes "wobble wobble" everytime she shakes it.
Gotcha, you big fat ugly green elephant!!!!That'll teach you to laugh at my favourite Auntie BF.
Even if she has flabby ass, so what??!! You CANNOT laugh at my Auntie BF. She's the bestest in the world, after my daddy, my mummy, my grandparents, my toys, Mr Dino, Auntie Von Von, Auntie BB, Auntie PinHead and all the others...
*bish bash bish bash bish bash*
Stupid elephant. That'll teach you to be rude to my Auntie.
"Psst, Green Elephant, don't worry. I didn't really hit you okay?? But just pretend pretend lah, make my Auntie BF happy."
Shit. I think I bashed Green Elephant for real with my last blow. Oh no.....another one bites the dust.
Weird. Why my backside so itchy??? Did mummy put itchy powder in my diaper????
I need to grab hold of that furry thing to scratch my backside...it's really itchy.
Guess what????
Mummy just fed me with some chilli padi paste. It's super duper spicy....I'm burning up.
Call the Baby Abuse Department quick!!!!
Fooled you didn't I??? Ha ha ha
I'm a real joker just like my daddy.
Can you guess what I'm doing now????
I'm doing a mega crap.
Ha ha You thought I was joking isn't it??
Well, I wasn't. I really was doing a mega crap, dummy.
Now I feel so relieved. Feels like I'm already 5kg lighter than before. Phew.....
Show you the look that I give daddy whenever I want something really badly.
It always works like a charm.
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