Friday, July 6 2007

Preparing for my future. I'm trying to learn how to read. This book doesn't seem to have any words though. It must be one of those "picture" books. Looks sorta yummy. Maybe I just nibble on it instead. Learning is making me hungry.

Hmmm. I made the right decision. Eating the book is much more fun than reading it.

Doing my daily exercise. They call it a push-up. Which idiot invented this exercise. It's damn tough. Basket.

I decided to do my swim exercise instead. Its easier. And it's more fun.

Who is this? It's my friend Big Baa Baa. Can you guess who is behind Big Baa Baa? I give you a clue. Take a look at the hands holding Baa Baa. Yup you got it, it's Fat Boy. Fat boy trying to molest my friend. The little bugger.

You caught me redecorating my cot. I wasn't quite happy with the current ornaments. I'm thinking of going minimal and removing some stuff.

I'm trying to get a good perspective of my cot. I don't want to over do the redesign. After all, what if I change too much then later on I can't recognize my own cot? Then how to sleep?

This new contraption is promoted by Toe Zay's kid. They call it the Toe Zay's kid exercise kit. It sorta sucks. My tummy hurts and I don't feel any benefit. Basket.

I know it's not food. But I just can't resist munching on anything I can hold. I got the bad habit of Fat Boy. That baby sure does stick any and all stuff in his mouth. Next time I hand him one of my dirty nappy and see how.

Yum Yum. And I get to exercise my biting technique. Darn strangers come up to me and pinch my cheeks. Soon when my jaw gets stronger and my teeth come out, I'm going to bite their bony fingers like a piranha.

You can see exactly how much I'm enjoying my meal. I don't mind the awful taste, but come on lah, can I use a real spoon. The blue and yellow color of the spoon is weird. Soon I'm going to turn into a shoot bird staring at the darn thing.

Great. I'm finished finally. Oh shit, just remembered. Next is that whit sour slop they call breast milk. My life is an ordeal.

Thursday, July 5 2007

Oy, don't block my view. I'm watching MTV. Basket. You don't move away in 3 seconds, and you will see a flying boomerang right at your face.

Shit, I threw the boomerang and it missed daddy completely. Now I have to pick it up again and try to practise some more on a less quick target.

Mummy, where are you??? Oh mummy dearest.......

I'm in a thinking mode here. Trying to figure out a plan to get mummy to feed me bottled baby foods. I heard from my friend Ryan that bottled baby foods tastes yummy.

How do I make mummy drop the bowl of yucky food she makes??? How how???

Lam Lam, any good ideas???? If you give me a good suggestion and it works, I'll give you mummy's yucky food as a reward???

You don't want huh???

Damn, you are not as gullible as Fat Boy.

*sigh* my dreaded mealtime again. Just let me get this over and done with as soon as possible. Please, just hurry and feed me your yucky home made food, mummy.

Terrible...not only is the food terrible, mummy also didn't strain the foods so I have to pick my gums now to make sure there are not food stuck on my gums.

Hey, doesn't mummy read those baby books??? It says babies my age are supposed to eat finely pureed foods and if necessary to strain them.

Basket, there seems to be one particular piece of sweet potato that refuses to budge.

Auntie Joei laughing at what?? She looks like a witch when she laughs like that. Oh, I see. She just made Uncle Rumpel fall on his backside by tripping him up with her big feet.

Poor Uncle Rumpel. But luckily Uncle Rumpel has a big soft tummy to cushion his fall.

Walau, Auntie Joei is super uncouth and unglam. How can she scratch her backside in front of everyone. She thinks we are transparent huh?? Basket. If she is my wife, I'd lock her up in the house and not let her go out at all.

Then she can scratch her backside for as long as she cares. She can even go scratch her toes.

Another 'act cute' adult...

Auntie Jancie thinks she is very cute is it with her 'act cute' pose??? Can someone tell her, she is not very young, so leave the acting cute to babies like me???

I don't even have to act in order to be cute. I'm a natural.

And why is she stealing my food to eat??? Actually, good good. Auntie Jancie, eat more eat more, don't be shy.

Now we have my friend Ryan acting like an adult. Look, he is pushing my pram.

Note: Just pretend that you didn't see his maid supporting him behind him and pretend you didn't see that he was standing on a chair.

Ryan, what are you looking at??? Stop eyeing the scones lah. Your mummy and my mummy won't give them to you.

I'm telling you based on experience. I look look look whenever my mummy is eating and to date, I still haven't gotten a morsel of whatever she's eating.

Instead, I get yucky food.











You stare at me for what? I'm just telling the truth. You luckier than me. At least your mummy still gives you delicious puddings and muffins and all those delicious baby bottle foods.

You wanna swap places for a day????

Wednesday, July 4 2007

Just woke up. I dreamed that a purple hippo was trying to strangle me. Oh shit, I think a purple hippo is next to me... and I'm not dreaming. Mummy where are you!!

I'm reviewing some male models for a fashion shoot to promote my latest line of toys. I've come up with the great idea to market "toys.... for girls only". None of that barbie nonsense either. I'm talking about pussycat dolls type stuff.

Hey Fat Boy, get off the runway. You too fat, and too ugly to be in the fashion shoot. Get back behind the camera before I beat your saggy butt.

Dad noticed I look a bit depressed. Actually I'm really happy. I'm always happy when daddy carries me. But if I act happy he might let me down. If I act sad, he carries me longer. You have to be streetsmart if you are a baby. Otherwise you end up in the damn cot looking at the ceiling all day long.

Working lunch. I'm still reviewing the male model candidates for the toys fashion shoot. Some of them make me want to puke. What's up with that? Aren't they male models? They look like crap.

I recognize this thing in my hand. I think I've used it before. Can't figure out for what though. I'll just stick it in my mouth though since that's what I always do when I get confused about anything.

My big boss look. They can stick this on my company brochure when we try to go public. I'm sure our stock will go like hot cakes.

Eh enough already. I need my nap. A baby can't work all day long you know. There are laws against that kind of thing.
















Hey mummy put me down. As normal she put me down in the wrong chair. Earth to mummy, earth to mummy, put me in my command centre chair so I can quickly finish work for the day. Put me in the pink chair for what? I admit it's quite well ventilated so I can fart easier, but it sorta gives me bumps on my skin. Not to mention bad lumbar posture which could give me back problems in my old age.

At least she gave me my new toy I designed and built. It's my latest creation. Basically you can nibble on it, spit on it, and if you really get bored, throw it at other babies or grown-ups. I made it heavy so it can do some real damage if thrown correctly. Let me show you.... oh Fat Boy where are you? There's a good fat boy. Come closer. ha ha.






Why is mummy trying to come close to us. Can't she see daddy and I are sharing some quality time together. I know you are my mummy, but can you freaken get in line. I was with daddy first. Shoo!















Good news is I get to start eating. I was sorta getting sick of that sour yucky stuff my mummy squirts out (doesn't the supply ever end?).

Bad news, the food is prepared by my mummy. Daddy already warned me it would taste like shit but I thought he was just exaggerating or kidding me. Darn. Mummy's food really does taste like shit. Daddy wasn't kidding.





Think Mcdonalds, come on Yoo-Ri imagine it's yummy. Hold your nose and close your eyes, you can do it.











Ok mummy I'm very full. Thanks for the food (Actually I'm still starving, but better to go hungry than eat that flavourless, possibly unhygenic attempt at food mummy cooks).










The evidence of my mummy's culinary skills. Come on lah, boil vegetables end up like this? How can? I bet she makes me eat it tomorrow. We need to get a freaken dog to eat stuff like this. How come I have to be the family garbage can?

I'm thinking of giving up food and going back to sour milk.

Tuesday, July 3 2007

Just a general update lah for the benefit of my grandparents who live in a far far away place called Jakarta. Also for my uncle Teddy and AUNTIE Evi. I now weigh 7.5kg and is about 66.5cm tall at 5.5 months old.

I've also started on solids on July 2 2007. Mummy fed me with 1 teaspoon of rice cereal mixed with boiled cooled water on the 1st day and of which I spilled about half of it. Mummy was super cheap, she didn't even make me anymore to make up for the cereal I toppled over.

Today, Mummy fed me with 1 teaspoon of rice cereal and then I wanted more, so she fixed me another 1/2 teaspoon and then another 1/2 teaspoon. I still wanted more but Mummy again lah, so cheap, didn't make me anymore. She claims she's not cheap and that she wants me to go slow with the solids but double ha, I know she is just plain lazy.

I'm in a bad mood today. Fat Boy has gone back to KL for holiday and I've no one else to bully.

I know. Auntie Jancie is gonna have a nephew real soon. The problem is I have to wait till the start of August before I can bully him.

But yet again, not a good choice to bully him. Later his policeman daddy come and catch me then I'm in trouble.

Do you have to keep taking pictures of me?? Even when I'm just minding my own business and punching my toys????

Can't I have even a little bit of privacy???

Now buzz off.






This is my sexy pose. I learnt it from my Auntie Joei aka Auntie Big Foot. Do I look sexy???

I doubt it too.

I'm doing a cobra now. I learnt it from Auntie Joei too when she was doing yoga. Funny thing is that I thought people who practise yoga are not flabby????

Then why is my Auntie Joei so flabby????

Mummy says I must eat more so I'm eating. I've been biting on this caterpillar for more than 10 minutes but why is it still around??? It must be a super caterpillar.

Oy, colorful caterpillar come back!!!! Where are you going???

I'm not done with you yet. COME BACK!!!!

Hmmm, this sure tastes weird. Not like the other things I've tasted on my mat. What is this mummy is feeding me???

On 2nd thoughts, it tastes a bit like .... hmmmm..actually I don't know what it tastes like because I've never really tasted any foods besides mummy's milk.

Remind me not to overeat in future. I feel like puking now. Think I got this bad habit of overeating from my Auntie Joei. She always eats and eats and eats then she gets too full and want to puke.

Monday, July 2 2007

Today I smell something fishy going on. Mummy looks too happy today. I mean normally she always looks happy like an idiot, but today she's exceptionally happy.

What did she do now???

Lil Lam, don't worry, I'll protect you.

Hey there, can you please call the Baby Abuse hotline on my behalf please??

My mummy's gone mad again. She not only makes me mop the house for her, but recently, she has been making me clear up my toys too.

Not only that, she's also forcefeeding me now in an attempt to cultivate foei gras. Can anyone please tell her that foie gras is from the dumb geese and ducks!!!!

Alright Auntie Joei, I forgive you for having such big feet. Now get out of my sight before I give you a kick with my super feet!!!!

Let it be warned that I learnt it from a great master ie. my mummy. Nah, my daddy's really weak. He's got really bad ankles, so can't kick that well.

Auntie Joei, even though your hand painted frame is really cute, but .... I think your screw's a bit loose. I'm a baby, I can't get married so young.

Sunday, July 1 2007

Hmm, wanna know why I have not been blogging for so long??

I'm very very very unhappy. Really unhappy indeed.

My thumbdrive's June folder got wiped out just like that. We have brought the thumbdrive to see a thumbdrive docter and he said that it was due to a fungal infection. Very very bad fungal infection.

Because of that, now all my pictures in the June folder are gone like the wind.

Guess who has been to our house very often last week and has been messing with our computer???

That's right. The pictures in the earlier days would show you who the culprit is.

I shall not be a snitch and tell you the person's name BUT I can give a brief description of the person.

The anonymous culprit has size 10 feet, wavy fake brown hair, well manicured hands and pedicured feet (to hide fungus cultivating on them).

So do you know who the mystery culprit is???


















Still need some more time to guess??? Hmm, you are quite a dummy aren't you???

Don't force me to say it. No matter what, I will never betray my favourite auntie's trust.

No...nothing you do will make me reveal Auntie Joei's identity.

OOopsss, oh oh....seems like I just accidentally did.

Sorry Auntie Joei, I love you ok. Please promise not to fart on my face for vengeance okay?