Friday, August 31 2007

Hi there, I'm back. My mummy and daddy have been really lazy about updating my blog because they say I take up too much of their time.

Sometimes I don't know why they are so busy for. I'm the one who should be really busy doing things. I'm a very busy baby.

I may look like I'm biting on Lil Lam, but I'm actually deep in thoughts.

I'm thinking real hard......eh, what do you think I should do after this huh???

Should I attack little rainbow caterpillar???

Ha ha ha I know, I shall just roll around on my playing mattress.

Mummy is worried that I will fall and hurt myself thus this ugly mattress. What she doesn't know is that I've mastered the art of crawling and doing somersaults etc. Just that I like to keep things hush hush for fear that she will sell me to the circus to buy new clothes for herself.

Shussh...don't tell her my little secret ok? It's between you and me.

Auntie Big Foot, why you look so pissed???Are you angry because my complexion is much fairer than yours even though you use that pitera product????

I thought I told you I'm willing to sell you my spitera for S$259 for a 200 ml bottle?? How how??? Deal or no deal???

Auntie Big Foot, no matter how you try to put me in front of you, I'm still too small to cover your face. How many times must I tell you???

You feeling guilty because you did something wrong is it?? Don't worry ok, I won't tell anyone your big secret.

Shssss I'm your good hip hop buddy. I won't let anyone know you have a big fungal growth on your left cheek ok???

I thought my face was big like a moon but I guess I met my match.

Auntie Big Foot's face is bigger and rounder than mine. What is she??? A BIG moon face????

She'll be really valuable during the Mooncake Festival. Am sure lots of people want to have a piece of her.







I don't know why Auntie Big Foot made me hold this sign for. It's not as if I know how to dance. Is she silly or is she silly???? Besides, I don't even like milk.

Oooh, maybe Auntie Big Foot wants to dance for milk. But a warning though, make sure your floor is heavily padded. I'm sure you don't want your floor to crack.

I'm not saying that Auntie Big Foot has big heavy feet but let's just say that her feet's one of her BIGGEST assets. :P










As you can see, I'm checking out Auntie Von Von's fingers.

Just look at Auntie Big Foot. She does manicure and pedicure so often and her fingers have fungus growing on them. Eww......

Nowadays I can't be too sure on who cultivates fungus and who doesn't.

Life's getting more complicated I must say.












Hmmm, I think Auntie Von Von loves to have her hair pulled.

I pull, she laughs. I pull again, she laughs harder. So easy to make her laugh. No challenge. *yawn* I'm bored. Auntie Big Foot, come and carry me instead. I wanna pull your hair instead.
















I bet you think I'm biting on my toy. BUT let it be known that I'm testing out a latest product by KYR called Caterpillar Floss.

Yup yup, it's actually a floss that babies can use to remove milk stains and baby food off their gums.









Practising my latest yoga move "Caterpillar peeps out".

When doing this, you got to make sure that your legs are crossed behind and your eyes are crossed too. Then you will get the full benefit of this yoga pose.









Auntie Big Foot keeps thinking that I keep getting stuck in this little corner of mine. Little does she know that I'm deliberately reverse crawling and sitting there because I don't wanna go near her big smelly feet.

Adults sure are dumb sometimes.










This is my 'elated' look that I reserve for my special Auntie Big Foot. She always does all these not so funny impersonations of animals to make me laugh. Though they are not funny, I shall just laugh just to make her happy.

Can you see my forced laughter??? I really feel like throwing my yellow cup at her.














Eh, she's doing a new trick now. She's growling and walking like a grizzly bear now. Hmmmm, Auntie Big Foot, you sure you ok??? Need me to call Boodwridge for you???













First Auntie Big Foot, now Uncle Rumpel. What's up with that man?? Why am I surrounded by people with big feet??????

Uncle Rumpel, why you look so impressed that I can stand???

Even though I have little feet, I can stand very well. Just goes to show that you don't need big feet in order to stand properly.













I've fainted.

Uncle Rumpel, not only are your feet big and long, they are also stinky. Goodness gracious, I think even my daddy's feet aren't half as stinky after he runs.

















You can't see it but I'm actually holding my breath. Got to do that in order to ensure my survival.

Shit, I hope Uncle Rumpel gets bored holding me soon or else I might collapse from lack of oxygen.

Maybe I can just give him a kick down there. Maybe then I can escape from his evil clutches.

Quick. Uncle Rumpel, lift me up slightly higher.













Damn. This specky is damn smart. Now I'm nowhere near his body parts worth injuring.





















I give up. I'm just gonna bite my little green donut and pretend that the air's all nice and rosy. Maybe if I look bored enough, he will let go of me.




















Check out this ball that Auntie Big Foot got me.

It's a Winnie the Pooh ball. I think Auntie Big Foot is trying to tell me that she looks like Winnie the Pooh.

I can see the resemblance definitely. It's all in the tummy.








Oy, babies have privacy rights too okay. Buzz off.

I can't talk now because I'm doing my spitera face mask but buzz off alright??












Like my new crib. It's a crib in a crib so as to speak. It sorta looks more like a cage, but my mummy and daddy assure me it's a high end crib and all cool babies have one.



















Hey, why you trying to come into my crib? If you come in then what's the use of me having my own crib? Get out. It's by invite only buddy.




















My crib is very cool. Lots of toys to munch on. Just like an italian deli. I have toys on hook everywhere. See the dog behind me? He tried to run away last week. Now he hooked (literally ha ha). And that smily thing which I don't even know what it is. I hooked that as well. No toy can escape me now. Growl.








My pre-crib days. Look how boring it was. No wonder I cried so much. Nothing more fun than seeing mummy running around like a duck in panic mode.













I'm bored already. Mummy where are you? I'm about to cry.















Maybe I give her some more time. I think she taking a dump. I'm not so mean as to interrupt. I will start crying when I hear the toilet flush.














Tried to cry, but came out as a laugh. Come on.... I can let out a cry... I'm an expert at it. Let me try again..













Damn, no-one heard me. Either that or they outsmarted me by pretending not to hear. Should I cry louder? Or save my energy for when I see a big ugly adult face first?














Let's wait. In the meantime I'll get all my laughter out of my system.















As you can see. I've temporarily exited my crib to play with my Auntie BF. I wanted to play with Auntie BF, but I still don't want anyone to share my crib. So I jumped over the fence so I can achieve both goals of playing with Auntie BF and yet maintain the privacy of my crib.










Not only am I fully standing. I'm helping the adult stand as well. If it wasn't for me, the adult whose arms are in the picture would have fallen flat on her face. Damn I'm good.


















Hey lady, lay off me. I'm just a baby. I'm having enough trouble standing on my own. I can't be helping you stand as well all the time. Let go of my arms and support yourself lazy person! You lean on a baby for what?



















I'm trying to pull away. The irritating person still trying to use me as a support.





















My future chair. It's called the big boss chair. It's less functional than my command chair, but it sorta is more comfortable.




















You're FIRED!! Practicing for the future.






















My future secretary. Auntie Chris is already following my instructions. Carry me Auntie Chris! See, she very helpful already.



















I'm laughing because next time I'm gonna get her to do all my work. I'm going to be the worst boss she ever had.














Ok ok... enough. I need to get back to work.




















My Uncle Teddy. We are in the midst of reviewing the financial performance of Singapore. As you can see we are both not entirely pleased. Auntie Chris and the other Singapore staff better buck up soon. There is a new (baby) Sheriff in town.

Wednesday, August 15 2007

As you can see, I'm not in a very chirpy mood. How can I be when my hair is in a mess???

Plus I'm running low on funds now. Got to start thinking how to earn more money. No money how to have new toys???

Realized mummy hasn't been buying me toys lately. What's up with that man? Doesn't she know that babies need toys in order to be happy babies???

I don't need any books, get me TOYS.

Back in my cot. I realized my cot is a bit bare. Where are all my friends??? What happened in here?? Did a thief come and steal all my friends away???

Where is Fat Cat, Fat Ted, Fat Bunny???!!! Where are all my Kaloo friends???!!!! Basket. Must be Auntie Big Foot. No wonder I see her looking so guilty.

Since I got no friends at the moment, let me self entertain myself. Let me do a Fat Boy look.

Shit. I am really piling on the pounds. I kinda look like a chubber now. I better not put on too much weight lest I look like a fat auntie before my time.

Better try to go on a diet soon. Maybe if I eat more snacks, I will eat less during my meal times.

Is that a little mosquito I'm seeing??? I wonder how it tastes like. Will it taste as nice as the shit flies????

Fly closer here, mozzie. Come on, come to momma.

I'm in a dilemma now. Should I go on a diet or should I just heck the diet???

Should I or should I not eat the mozzie???

How many calories is a mozzie anyway???? Not much right?? Maybe I can just eat one.

Damn, I contemplated for too long. Now the bloody mozzie got eaten by Auntie Big Foot. What is it with her???

First she steals my friends, then now she steals my snack. Basket. But what to do??? She's so much bigger than me, later I complain, she give me a flying kick, I will end up in outer space.

Hmmm, better keep quiet and pretend to play with my blocks instead.

Hmmmm, I'm feeling a wee bit hungry. Shall I call mummy to give me some toast or crackers???

Yoo-ri, think about something else. Don't think about your hunger....think pretty dresses.

Basket. Think about wearing pretty dresses for what??!! Seems like all I am gonna get to wear are rompers rompers and more rompers.

Wearing rompers not that bad, nowadays I still got to wear a freaken embroidered hat to 'protect against the sun'.

I hope I don't see any of my ah lian friends. They will laugh till they drop.

Voila, I can eat with no hands. Hmmm.... Come to think of it I always eat with no hands. Mummy feeds me.

Fooled you. Of course I can eat with my hands. I'm a big baby now.

This is my jenny (from the block) headband. I'm ready to start my Yoga. Some play time first though.

Auntie BF with a sexy dress. Makes me hungry for milk.

Hey Auntie BF, your dress looks like my mummy's maturnity dress. You trying to tempt me for milk is it?

Not my best expression. I was distracted by some food on the table next to ours.

Something doesn't make sense. I'm in a restaurant but why am I eating the same food as I normally do? Something not right.

How to get some real food. My mummy going cheap on me. I got biscuits coming out of my butt.

Hey did someone just give me a glance. Buzz off stranger who you think you looking at? Can't a baby eat her lousy biscuit in peace. Basket.

Nice chair. Bigger than a bumbo chair. Nicer color too. Ok Mr. I'll order one. Mummy will pay you.

This baby sorta looks familiar...... Hey it's not fat boy is it? How come he looks.... skinny? What's with his chicken legs?

I think I change your name. From now on I christen you Skinny.

PS: I think my Maclaren stroller better than yours. Mine has more cloth. But I tell you what, I buy from you for SGD$20 ok? I got another baby asking for second hand.

Ok skinny, mummies not looking. Hand me your food in your hand before I squash you like a prata.

Hey follow the plan Skinny. Hand over the food. You wanna piece of my fist is it? Just because you a pathetic skinny now dun think I won't whack you silly. I follow after my daddy. When I see weak things, I just feeling like crushing it further.

Forget it you stubborn fool. I'll get you later.

Mummy, what you doing? Taking Skinny's side is it. I was just about to give him a beating.

Hey how come you look so stupid skinny. I haven't even beaten you up yet. I think you should buy some glasses to make you look a bit smarter. Right now, you look marginally more intelligent than a graduate out of Rubberbridge.

What are we both looking at? Nothing it seems. Just wasted my time by copying Skinny. He really is as dumb as he looks. Just staring at the floor seems like his mode of enjoyment.

Hey you suddenly look a bit smarter than normal. Dun try so hard lah. Your brain burst or something. Go back to normal ok? Dun wanna see my buddies lying of the floor with brain exhaustion.

PS: Who you trying to fool Skinny. You have a small Pee Pee. Wearing large size nappies can't fool anyone. Get some proper trousers or something for god's sake.

Woke up. I just had a dream fat boy became skinny. He looked even worse. I better give that kid a holiday. Maybe I been working him too hard.