Wednesday, November 7 2007

Guess what I'm thinking of. If you guess it right, I'll give you a present. How about it buddy???






















Can you guess??? Still can't right??

Guess what?? I also don't know what I'm thinking about. Silly, I'm just a baby, what can I be thinking about.

Yes, can I help you mummy??? I'm busy right now. Gotta watch my fave tv program soon.

Quickly ask me what you wanna ask and buzz off. I got to watch My Sweet Sixteen. I got to get some ideas about how to celebrate my 1st birthday with style.

Yeah I know, I look really good and all things nice but do you mind? I need a bit of privacy.

Stop ogling at my sexy pins. Ogle some more and I'll make sure you get some dark shadows on your ogling eyes buddy.

Oh look at that poor little kitten mewing away at the road side. Its mummy must have abandoned it.

I wonder whether cats can be eaten. Do you think they taste good as sashimi or as a stew???

Oy, why is that construction worker taking my cat???

What's up with that man??? Yo buddy, that's my cat. I spotted it first.

Basket, that ignorant worker ignored me. %#*#(@)@

Just wait till I can walk, mister. I'll make sure I walk over to the construction site and beat the living daylights out of you.

Wah, uncle I was just kidding. I am just a baby la, babies don't know nothing. Now relax ok. Hammers are very dangerous. Put it back in your bag ok?

My latest loot. The auntie at the organic shop gave this to me but mummy confiscated it from me. Mummy says she has to test the cookies to make sure it's safe for me to consume.

This is where I stash all my food. Mummy thinks she has lots of goodies. I hate to burst her bubble, but really, I think I have the best foods in the house.

Check out my freezer. It's really filled with my foods.

What's up with Halmoni??? It's a necklace not a tiara!!!!

Oops, I better not piss my Halmoni off. The cuttlefish made her angry and see what's happening to it now.

Poor cuttlefish. May you rest in peace.

Halmoni gave me this to chew on. I wonder what it is.

I think it's the smelly cuttlefish. I didn't know cuttlefish tastes so good.

Daddy, give me some more cuttlefish please. Pretty pretty please daddy????

I'll give you a BIG kiss if you give me one more cuttlefish.












Basket. Daddy went off without giving me my cuttlefish.

Never mind. I've got hands, I can take the cuttlefish out myself.

This stuff is pretty addictive. Definitely much more tasty than mummy's food.

Ah ha, I'll ask mummy to help me. She looks like she's in a good mood. I'll give her my special smile.

Oh mummy dearest.....

This is my latest dress. It's called a light mint mini dress. Nice?

Mummy tells me it's from an original design by Baby Bic Secret.

Any similarities between daddy and I?

You got it. We are both munching on the smelly cuttlefish.

Hey, buzz off. I just climbed out of my little 'prison cell'. Don't tell mummy or else I'll be put back in again.

She's always trying to cage me inside this crappy prison while she eats all her yummy foods.

Actually I still don't understand why I climbed out of my 'prison' for. I'm still here playing with my crappy toys.

Sometimes I just don't understand what I'm thinking.

Wednesday, October 31 2007

Take that you stupid bastard. How dare you bully the other smaller caterpillar. I'll teach you a thing or two about bullying. I run a tight ship just like my daddy. No one can step out of line or they gonna ganna. Basket.

Should I write down some rules so my toys know what they can and cannot do??

Nah...besides the fact my toys can't read, frankly I can't write either. So not really possible.


















Protecting my mattress. Mummy promised to let me sleep on it when I outgrow my cot. I'm told it's a very expensive mattress.














Hmmm, maybe I should learn how to write. And also teach my toys how to read. That way I don't have to keep beating the crap out of the toys every time they do something wrong.


















I asked for a piano. All I got was a crappy don't even know what to call it. Sorta like a drum and a gong.





















Can't wait to sleep on this mattress when I grow up. My cot is getting a bit tight lately. I need more real estate. This mattress is huge.





















Me blowing a raspberry. Darn it, I ganna-ed myself. Ka Poey.

Basket, mummy's laughing at me now. I'm gonna get her.

Just blew a raspberry right on mummy. Ha ha ha

That'll teach her to laugh at me.

Hey lady, watch who you touch. I'm a gangster ok? I slappa you then you know.

Ok lah. You wanna give me a baby massage is it? Make it quick though. My schedule a bit tight today.

After the massage, I feel more relaxed. The last few weeks have been a bit stressful. I felt a bit of tightness around my neck. Much better now.

Wow, I'm feeling drowsy. I think I might ask the lady to come back next time. Daddy, where is your cheque book? Can you make the massage a regular one? I know mummy supposed to give me the massage, but boy does she suck. I end up even more stiff and stressed. I think mummy should just stick to what she is good at which is....ahhh...shopping and ummmm shopping???

Hey lady keep going. My thighs need a rub down. Can't you see I'm standing up so you can proceed???

Tuesday, October 30 2007

The daily life of a baby. Every morning, I have to vacuum the floor and mop the floor, followed by cleaning the toilets. What to do? Life as a Baby Kim isn't that easy.

Mummy's lazy like a potato so I have to do everything in the house.

Think I better do this room another day. The pile of mummy's clothes sitting on the bed is too traumatizing for me.

I don't understand it. Why does mummy need to take out so many clothing when she only wears 1 out to go out??

Luckily my daddy is not like her. My daddy wears 1 outfit a week. He has been wearing the same trousers to work for 3 weeks already.

My 10 minute break. Shit the alarm went off. Back to work.

Sidetrack a little. Darn, I really look damn good.

Maybe I should slack off a little today. Anywayz, mummy is still having her massage. She probably won't even notice if I don't clean the kitchen floor. She will just think it's her massage oil that's making the floor seem oily.

Stretch Yoo-ri stretch. You can reach it.

Finally got mummy's money bag. Hahahaha Now with this money bag, I can buy myself some nice treats. Maybe I should go buy myself some ice cream and bubble tea. Mummy always eating all that whenever we go out but never once offer me those yummy treats.

Hmmm, or should I go for sharks fins soup??? Always see mummy and Auntie Big Foot eating that. Wonder how it tastes like. Aren't sharks those creatures with sharp teeth?? I thought they bite humans???

How did mummy and Auntie Big Foot catch the shark???

Ah ha, I know. Must be Auntie Big Foot. Her feet so smelly that even the shark died.

Auntie, I want to buy up the entire shop. Charge it to my card okay?

Auntie, how much is it again??? Why so expensive to buy up the whole shop?? I regular you know? No discount huh????

Aunties, why so fierce?? I no money to buy the shop, you also don't have to steal my ice cream. Gimme back my ice cream!!!!!

Mummy is definitely high. She's smiling her not so usual smile. She's definitely had too much sakes.

Check out the sake bottle wearing a dress.

My daddy and mummy. I love my daddy and mummy to bits even though they are mean to me. :)

Monday, October 29 2007

Hey there, another brand new day, another brand new look.

Today mummy dressed me up to look really HOT cos I'm gonna see my hottie pottie Auntie Stev.

What's up with all these Aunties. Wah so many of them. They make them in an Auntie factory is it? I think the world needs more toy factories and less Auntie factories frankly.

Buzz off lady. Can't you see I'm occupied. I'm eyeing some real food to sneak when mummy is diverted. Crackers are for parrots.

Just get it over with. I'm letting you kiss me as a favor to my mummy. You leave any saliva though and I'll retaliate with a raspberry.

You laugh laugh is it? I just ate some chilli padi. You gonna burn soon. Sucker.

Shit the chilli padi had no effect. This Auntie is a tough one. Not weaklings like big foot or von von. I gotta think of other things to add to my arsenal of weapons.

There!!! Pulled your hair!!! That'll teach you to mess with me.

You are as fast as a kangaroo. How you know I was going to pull your hair again?? You psychic is it?

Just in case you are psychic what am I thinking in my brain now Auntie?

Ah ha. You can't read my mind after all. I got you with my tight slap. Don't mess with this baby.

Is she nuts? She looks nuts to me. I just slapped her and she smiling like an iddiot. Is my slap really that hard?

As you can see, I'm suntanning in the lounge room. What to do?? Daddy doesn't allow me to go to the poolside cos he says it's too dirty.

I have learned to make do with what little resources I have.

Auntie Joei, stop spying on my sexy legs.

Don't touch. Both the bed and the music table are mine. All mine. You touch and I give you slap. I don't care who you are. These things can't be shared. They are for single use, that is, my use, only.

Shit, turn your head for a second and some strange lady ends up touching my toys? What am I, a charity? I'm gonna start charging soon on a per usage basis when someone touches my toys.

Man, what did I do to deserve this? I got some skinny ass Auntie trying to carry me with skinny ass arms. If I don't fall at least once, I'll be amazed. In actual fact maybe I should be the one carrying her. I think i'm the stronger one.

Shit I'm slipping. Concentrate Auntie PinHead, concentrate! I'm just a baby. Don't drop me.

Something's strange with my stroller. Something has changed. I can't figure it out though.

Maybe they changed the wheels from a 4 inch rim to 5 inch rim? Daddy's been talking about buying a subaru lately. Maybe he hotted up my stroller ah beng style to test the new vehicle fashion.

Smile baby smile. Mummy's life so pathetic I better throw her a bone.

I said bone mummy, not a skeleton. Let me go now. I've got a schedule to follow you know. I can't be dilly dallying with you all day.