I'm pretending to be keenly observing the floor. The reality is I'm in the midst of taking a dump. I've already picked out my book in case it turns out to be a long one.
I'm practicing the famous baby pose of looking back over my shoulder. I invented the pose, so all the other little shits that steal my pose should be paying me royalties. Yeah that's right huggies commercial baby, I'm working with my dad's lawyer to issue you a writ. You will be doing the pose from Jail buddy. And don't think the other adults in jail will take it easy on you.
I'm thinking how to make my first million rupiah.... or is that dollars? Which one is bigger? I think rupiah is.
I'm a bit tired today. My mum was too cheap to fork out for my morning coffee. And she calls my dad cheap!! The nerve. How can any baby function in the morning without a hit of double latte mocha expresso!
Just making sure I leave my germs for the next punter to catch. You need to spread the wealth if you get what I mean.
I want a real horse but I heard the cost a lot. So I have to suck it up and pretend this fake one is real. I'm not stupid though. I know it's fake.
I'm doing my trick again. I look deep in thought but in actual fact I'm dumping again. That poor girl behind me is gonna get one smelly wiff and probably pass out.
Shit. Have I met my match? She seems to be planning the same bomb on me! Or maybe she just want to show me her chi chi. Darn japanese girls, they sure do start young.
How come Hi5 is singing in Japanese? I never knew they could do that? How the F*ck am I supposed to understand what they are saying? Then again, I don't understand them in any language so no big deal I guess. Sayonara my half korean ass.
Look Auntie. I'm trying to figure out how to read myself. I'm still learning. I can't help you ok? If you do stupid at your age to read or interpret pictures it's not my fault ok? Blame your mummy for dropping you head first when you young.
Give me a break. I never seen an adult look so confused. Hello.... HELLO auntie!!!! It's a freaken picture book for god's sake. You don't even need to know how to read. Stop looking so gong gong. Your embarrasing me.
Now you got it. Even if you can't read at least we can pretend right? Who will know? It's not like some eligible guy will come disturb you right? After 30+ years of being avoided by the good guys, I doubt you gonna strike relationship toto first prize any time soon.
You think you pretend so well is it? Well I can turn my pages faster than you. I'm the best in the world at pretending to read. Don't mess with me.
Hey wanna swap magazines. I just accidentaly drooled on my one and I don't want the border's staff to make me pay for it. I'm just a baby. I don't have any money on me.
Did she just drop something of the floor? Keep cool. If it's her wallet I just act cool. Then later when she leaves I pick it up and keep it. Finders keepers.
Had enough of reading? Wanna go sit on some rides? I know they don't let adults sit on the rides but I got connections. I'm a personal friend of barney. He said you can sit on his ride ok?
You farted didn't you? Well guess what, so did I so the jokes on you. laugh all you want.
Be honest. Who looks the smarter of us two? It's me isn't it. The auntie next to me just doesn't know how to pretend to read like I can. I do it all the time. Drives the kids in my pre-school mad.
