Saturday, September 22 2007

Hi, can I help you???

No??? Then what are you looking at??? Haven't seen an angry baby kicking ass is it??

Stare some more and I'll poke your eyes out, punk.


















If only milk tastes as good as these......















I've been trying to figure out what's the big deal about sucking on a dummy.

*suck suck suck*

It doesn't taste like anything. Why waste my effort sucking on something when nothing comes out of it????















Do you think I can spit this dummy out to hit mummy on her nose????

Let's see.....aim, Yoo-ri....aim properly. You only have one chance.











Crap. I got babynapped by these 2 sistas of mine again. Aren't they supposed to be in school studying how to be a big boss in future???

As soon as I can talk, I'm gonna call up their school principal.











In the meantime, I just got to suck it up and bear with it. These 2 have violent tendencies so I better not piss them off.

Smile Yoo-ri, smile.











Oh lord....this is getting worse.

A kiss I can still tolerate....but what's up with that hand signal???!!!! What is Auntie Madonna??? Another triad member???? What's with the secret hand sign again????

















Damn. Is that a double chin I'm seeing????

Oh no, what have I become now??? Fat Boy the second???????!!!!!




















NoooooOOOOo

I don't wanna be Fat Boy the Second.

Please let it be a nightmare I'm having.....I'm not a fatty. I'm as slim as a toothpick.









A brand new day...a brand new resolution.

From today onwards, I'm going on a DIET. No more fruits and vege. Just give me more cheeses, yogurts and more meats.












Hey there, you kinda look familiar. Have we met before????













Oh, now I remember. You are mummy's alien friend. The alien who has a gap between her teeth. Also the alien who has tattoos all over.

Hi there, long time no see Auntie Tattoo.




















Auntie Tattoo, can I be in your gang??? Let me show you how strong I am. See how easily I can lift Giant Octopus up???? You wanna see me slam him on the floor and watch his guts splatter all over????!! You wanna, you wanna????


















Hur hur hur...now that you see how strong I am, you are afraid of me now aren't you, Auntie???

That's better. Now massage my back and clean my ears for me.

















Hey, Auntie Tattoo. Quick, serve me my lunch. I want a minestrone soup and some chicken casserole. Heat it up properly or else I'll kick your skinny ass.












Oops....Auntie Tattoo, relax. I didn't know you have a dagger in your bag. Hey relax ok, I was just kidding. Take your time heating up lunch for me.

I was just joking earlier.












Damn. This Auntie sure is scary. I better go back to bullying silly little bunny instead.





















If Auntie Tattoo wants to kiss me, she can kiss me. No problemo.

If she wants to hug me, she can hug me too.

Her breath kinda stinks though. Shit. I know. She got rotten teeth. Last I heard from mummy, Auntie Tattoo just had 2 wisdom teeth extracted.

Only dummies have wisdom tooth.













Auntie, why you so shy?? Let me take a peep ok?? I promise I'll just peek, no touching.





















Hey, you cheated. You stuffed yours with tissue paper. What's up with that man???





















Ok ok, stop looking so pathetic. I promise I won't reveal your secret.

I can't bear seeing grown women cry. Damn.



















Well, at least one of us look happy in this picture.

I think I was born to make mummy's friends happy at my expense. All of them seem to take pleasure in taking pictures with me.


















What's up with Auntie Von Von???? Why is she holding me this way?? She offering me to the gods or what????

Put me down this instant, Auntie Von Von before I box your chin.

















Oooooh, let go of me. I want to eat that cookie. Let go, let go.















Why is Auntie Von Von playing with my stacking cups and my new friend Mr 8-legs?????

She really bored is it??? Hey, go look for your own toys and friends ok!!!! Leave mine alone before I teach you a lesson. Grrr grrrrrrrrrr

















On 2nd thoughts, let me get myself a shot of whiskey to give myself some courage.

I nearly forgot that Auntie Von Von is from the hood. Shit...I hope she didn't hear me say what I just said earlier.











Eh, Auntie Von Von, you shouldn't have. Really, you shouldn't have. But since you insist on giving me this bottle of vodka, I shall accept it.

Thanks Auntie Von Von, I love you.











*sigh* I'm in a dilemma now. Should I or shouldn't I????

Should I do my poo poo now or should I wait till mummy carries me before I do it?????

















Auntie Von Von, what do you want??? You want 2 shots of vodka is it???

Wait ok, I ask mummy to get them for you. (One for Auntie Von Von and one for me.)










What's up with the 123 mouse???? How dare he climb up on my head!!!! Just wait and see you stupid mouse.

Wait till I finish munching on this and then I'll get you real good.


















You are next 123 Mouse. Get ready to meet your maker.






















Let me see where mummy is. If she's in the shower, I can go sneak myself a shot of vodka.




















Hang on Vodka, I'm coming to you really soon. Just wait there for me. I'm on my way.





















Think I had 2 vodkas too many. Crap....now I look like a shoot bird.

Monday, September 17 2007

Guess you finally got a chance to see me crawl. Damn, now my secret's out. Soon, mummy and daddy will be making me walk, and then run and then probably do the cooking, cleaning up and all.

Crap. My life is starting to look like a huge bed of rotten roses.

Since mummy and daddy think I'm a big girl now, I might as well just let them see me smoking my pipe.

What can they do to me now? HUH!

Hey, don't throw my pipe away mummy. That's mine!!! I bought it with the money Grandpa gave me. Throw it away and I'll tell Grandpa you hit me.

Now let's see if you dare do it.

Darn. Mummy really threw away my pipe down the chute. Let me find something to throw at her. How dare she throw away something that belongs to me. Nobody does that to me.

Have I told you my latest ambition is to be a singer???? My Auntie Big Foot says I got the talent to be a great singer.

Mariah Carey, eat your heart out. Or better still, go eat your mike.

Quick, get away before I cry for help. Arrrgghhhh....

Daddy says I'm a big girl now so I can't be seen naked by anyone. Besides, if I'm gonna be really famous in future, I can't have my naked pictures being circulated around. Daddy says girls who show their bodies off too much are LC. I don't wanna be low class.

I wonder if the food will get any better.

Guess not. It seems to be getting worse.

I know I need to eat but darn. It's a freaken ordeal trying to eat my mum's cooking. Why can't they get me that canned stuff that other babies eat?

Daddy asked me to massage his legs. I'm negotiating the terms.

What was that? 5 cents is it. What do you take me for? I'm a baby not a sucker. Don't try to con me.

Forget it then. 5 cents is not worth it. Plus your legs are hairy. That costs extra.

I'm in the company of my sistas.

As you can see, They seem to look a bit different from me. They have dark hair, I have brown blondish hair. They got big eyes, I got small eyes. They got teeth, I got no teeth.

What's up with that man??? Oh I know why. It's cos I'm only half Indo.

My Auntie Madonna just slapped me because I pulled on her necklace. Can you see the tears in my eyes????

Grandma, Grandpa, HELP me.....

Mummy just got back from the washroom. Now they pretending to like me again.

Grrrrrrr...boy are these 2 the cunning ones. Grrrrr

Hey. Not so rough I'm only a baby. How would I know where mummy and daddy keep their valuables? Easy.

Plus knowing how stingy they are they don't even have anything worth taking.

I don't know. I don't know. Leave me alone. I'm just a baby.

Arrrhhhh. Help. Stop trying to feed me funny stuff. I'm gonna puke it back on your lap.

She forced a biscuit in my mouth. No telling what she put in it. I'm pretending to eat it. I'll spit it out when she looking away.

Did you both kidnap me? Why am I not at home? Hmm... oh yeah I forgot, we went out for lunch.

Why am I the only one that gets packed lunch. Everyone else is eating freaken steaks. Why bring me if I don't get to eat?

I'm on daddy's shoulders. I'm taller than everyone. Pretty cool. Also I can see down the top of the woman sitting next to us.

Back down the normal level. Still good though. I can still see the ladies' boobies.




















Kicking back at our pool deck. I'm a grownup now. I can sit-up and catch some rays.






















Ok enough. My skin is sensitive.

Notice those 2 behind us in the pool. I think they very bad people. They keep touching each other. Come on lah. Hello!! Baby present.

Should I spit into the pool? Hmmm can my spit reach the pool. I'm sitting a bit far back.

My mummy's new bag. She stole my milk money to buy it. That's my mummy. I've been drinking water lately.

Yo yo. It's the sunshine baby. Where's my shades.

PS: Those 2 disgusting people still at it. Come on lah, get a crib.

Me preparing to let loose an almighty glob of spit.





















Damn missed the pool. The spit hit the ground.

My new mobile. It's cool and black. I do my prank calls to Skinny with it.

Me: Hello can I speak to Mr Bo?
Skinny: Who is that? I'm Fat Boy Skinny.
Me: Are you sure there isn't a Mr Bo, first name Dumb, as in Dumb Bo?
Skinny: No, My name is Skinny and mummy is mummy.
Me: Ok sorry wrong number. Bye.

Just finished calling Skinny. Man that kid is dumb. I do it daily and he still hasn't figured out it's a prank call.

My mummy's other new bag. I wish it were fake but it's real. You guessed it, not only am I being given water instead of milk, the water has been downgraded to tap water instead of bottled stuff.